They made me a manager
and something about horses and family
Hi friends,
In April last year my manager asked me if I wanted to be a manager. I said yes, not because I really wanted to be a manager, but because I was deeply tired of my job at the time. Being a manager is ok, I am still learning how to do it well and in a way true to me but I stopped making anything or sharing anything which I have been sad about.
In December I bought a sketchbook, cleaned up my desk and organised my pencils.

The only way I can start drawing again after a long gap is in a very vague, idle, non committal way which I would describe a forced doodling. I never feel like it but I make myself. So I started drawing horses. Probably because everyone is talking about the year of the horse, but also because Christmas is a time I think about the family I miss, and they are closely connected to horses in my mind.
I have written previously about my great great grandmother Rachel Curl (here and here) who died by suicide in 1902. Lately I have been wondering, how do we carry difficult family histories, can they be made new or transformed. I don’t know the answer but I have a whole pinterest board dedicated to a fantasy world in which Rachel Curl is a Victorian performer of some kind.
I ended up drawing this.

I have been wanting to cut out a horse from fabric and sew it onto something for a while. I have also been wanting to make a flag type thing. So I made this out of some scraps of fabric, which I guess is a wish back into the past for Rachel Curl to have a horse and a different life.
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See below some bonus childhood/family horse related pics.

I will keep doodling horses and hope to be back soon…









Also those pics are such an amazing record and your mum looks like a total dude!
I love this Emily - you will get back into your drawing and your great great gran sounds amazing x